So, I've been an absent friend on this blog....for quite some time I'm ashamed to say. I am sorry about that friends, I have no excuse, especially to my dearest friend Jenny, who has been holding up this whole show throughout the entirety of my absence. I can only apologize & thank her for her patience & support, as a true friend, I appreciate it enormously. Thank you for being you Jenny & for being such a strong & loving friend. I love you!
Now, to address what's been going on, there's a lot to tell, but for time's sake & not wanting to push my entire life on those who happen on this post, or are first time friends on the blog, I'll keep it as short as possible. From last April, to the current year, I've been experiencing change, the kind of change you need time to wrap your head around. I've not been good at it, & I freely admit it. Some of that change consisted of good things, a new & wonderful man in my life, for example was long overdue & very exciting! However, at the beginning, it was a long distance relationship & occupied my time & mind constantly. It had been so long, I'd been so out of balance in that area of my life that I got a little over-focused on it. Part of that was good, the effort on both sides of the relationship kept us together & brought us to where we are now, which is together & happy with each other. The other part of that focus was depression related...a feeling which has finally loosened its hold on my spirit in recent days.
In the beginning of September of 2012, I left my job of five years, my home, my friends & family behind for the trees & mountains of Montana. I loved it here the first time I set foot inside the state. I loved the Tri-Cities, because it was home, but there was something in me that tumbleweeds couldn't fill, the love of the outdoors, hiking, trees, mountains, wild things! So the move to a new place was exciting, even more so, considering I'd be on my own for the first time & living with my boyfriend after we decided we didn't want to let distance get between us anymore.
The start was great... right up to the point where depression set in. I had no friends here, save the ones I was living with, I didn't know the area very well, & I quit two jobs in a matter of days after being
hired. I was alone often (when my boyfriend & other roommate worked), lonely, missed my family terribly, & felt guilty for leaving my dog behind(my family told me he was depressed too). After quitting the last job I hated(telemarketing job disguised as something else), I decided two months of being out of work was enough. I went home for about a week,visited with my family, collected some things I left behind, Obie (Australian shepherd) included, & went back to Montana. I couldn't move back to WA & leave the man I loved alone. Putting six hours of driving back between us was not something I wanted. No matter where I was, I was missing someone I loved. I have to thank my boyfriend for being very strong, patient & supportive during this time. If this is a place to acknowledge my friends, he especially, must be given credit. All this time we talked about being together, me moving & then up and leaving AGAIN must have been very hurtful & frustrating. Not to mention my emotional idiocy at the time, made me irritable & most likely hard to be around. He also went through a series of jobs at this time, was often tired from work & yet still found time to support me emotionally. He took me out hiking & crystal hunting on his days off & went spent an amazing amount of time together, that part to me, was heaven, it kept me safe from my bad thoughts & having him near me everyday kept me sane & alive.
After spending time in two jobs that I hated I asked another friend, our roommate to help me find & apply for something I liked. I literally went & walked into places & applied. Anywhere that interested me was visited & I soon had a stack of paper to fill out. Turns out, the first one I filled out was the one that was destined to be my new job! The Book Exchange called me only a few days after having applied there! I saw the stack of applicants & new I was lucky. I also found out later that my previous boss had been called & talked up my work ethic & usefulness as much as he could. After a one hour interview the following day, I was in! I now work full time, I make a decent wage (for Missoula area, we Washingtonians are spoiled when it comes to wages), & I live with m boyfriend & dog in the most beautiful state in the world.
What I learned from all this, was that things get better. Everyone has valleys, hard times, you can even get sad for a long time... but if you're lucky, if you have the love of good friends to rely on, you can climb your way out of your old skin & into a new better you. Everyone needs good friends to sharpen them, to pick them up & hold them tight. I thank mine, every chance I get because without them, I know now, I wouldn't be here! Thank you all, & I love you!
As for the blog, hope to see you all much more regularly & with new & exciting adventures soon! happy trails! ~Anna
Above is a digital piece I did of my new character Avis Wolf called, "Stronger"