9 in 5 by 23

I follow a blog called Wit & Whistle. I love this blog. In fact, it was after discovering this blog and reading all of the posts that I realized that I would love to blog and that I could do it. She is so creative and fun, but also so accessible. I could totally relate, even if I was a little jealous of her life. ;)

Anyway, she posted about this idea of writing a list of things that you would like to do within a year of a single age. The lists contain a number of tasks that matches your current age and you are to finish them before your next birthday. She just finished her first list and had her birthday and has begun another. It's like a "bucket list" for a single year of life. I love this idea. I have loved reading the various posts about her progress and I've been inspired to do my own.

I, however, am just under 5 months from my next birthday. I turn 23.

So I have started working on my "23 by 24" list. While I was thinking of tasks, I had a lot come up that I wanted to get started on (and could even finish) before my next birthday. These obviously either couldn't or shouldn't be on my 23 by 24 list so I got to thinking, maybe I should start a shorter list right now!

I thought of this idea on February 26, 2013, which is exactly five months from my 23rd birthday (can anyone say "destiny!"). So, here was my train of thought:

I have exactly 5 months til I turn 23. I would have had a "22 by 23" list had I started one this past birthday. Here's what I figure: 

(22 tasks / 12 months) = 1.833 tasks/month

1.833 tasks/month x 5 months = 9.166 tasks ~ 9 tasks.

So I will write a "9 in 5 by 23" list!! 

(Talk about nerding out and using unit analysis on this computation - such an engineer... O.o) 

1. Become proficient at driving a manual transmission.
2. Turn the Magic Tree tea shop box into a jewelry box.
3. Go through and organize all of my old 35mm prints.
4. Take couple's photos with Kyle throughout the Palouse.
5. Go through the books in the garage: donate vs. keep.
6. Do Wild at Art in Moscow, ID. 
7. Take a trip (not including to Seattle or to anywhere in eastern WA)
8. Do at least 30 min of cardio 3 times weekly.
9. Go through my closet: donate vs. keep and determine at least 3 common traits of my favorite items, try to buy more items that suit my personal style instead of items bought on a whim. 

I'm starting off this habit of a year of life to do list, taking it a little easy. I expect a lot of changes between now and my birthday. With these changes and other things, I want to keep my goals pliable to ensure that I maintain one of my favorite personal character traits - flexibility. 

But my "23 by 24 list" is going to be even more awesome, I can already tell! ;) You'll just have to wait until my birthday to hear what I've got planned for the year! 

What do you think? 

What would you do? :D

Even if you don't make a list or need a list - I hope you are constantly looking to do things that you want to do and not always the things you have to do. ;) 

Stay excellent! 

- Jenny -

Where I've Been & What's New!

   So, I've been an absent friend on this blog....for quite some time I'm ashamed to say. I am sorry about that friends, I have no excuse, especially to my dearest friend Jenny, who has been holding up this whole show throughout the entirety of my absence. I can only apologize & thank her for her patience & support, as a true friend, I appreciate it enormously. Thank you for being you Jenny & for being such a strong & loving friend. I love you!

   Now, to address what's been going on, there's a lot to tell, but for time's sake & not wanting to push my entire life on those who happen on this post, or are first time friends on the blog, I'll keep it as short as possible. From last April, to the current year, I've been experiencing change, the kind of change you need time to wrap your head around. I've not been good at it, & I freely admit it. Some of that change consisted of good things, a new & wonderful man in my life, for example was long overdue & very exciting! However, at the beginning, it was a long distance relationship & occupied my time & mind constantly. It had been so long, I'd been so out of balance in that area of my life that I got a little over-focused on it. Part of that was good, the effort on both sides of the relationship kept us together & brought us to where we are now, which is together & happy with each other. The other part of that focus was depression related...a feeling which has finally loosened its hold on my spirit in recent days. 

 In the beginning of September of 2012, I left my job of five years, my home, my friends & family behind for the trees & mountains of Montana. I loved it here the first time I set foot inside the state. I loved the Tri-Cities, because it was home, but there was something in me that tumbleweeds couldn't fill, the love of the outdoors, hiking, trees, mountains, wild things! So the move to a new place was exciting, even more so, considering I'd be on my own for the first time & living with my boyfriend after we decided we didn't want to let distance get between us anymore. 

 The start was great... right up to the point where depression set in. I had no friends here, save the ones I was living with, I didn't know the area very well, & I quit two jobs in a matter of days after being    
hired. I was alone often (when my boyfriend & other roommate worked), lonely, missed my family terribly, & felt guilty for leaving my dog behind(my family told me he was depressed too). After quitting the last job I hated(telemarketing job disguised as something else), I decided two months of being out of work was enough. I went home for about a week,visited with my family, collected some things I left behind, Obie (Australian shepherd) included, & went back to Montana. I couldn't move back to WA & leave the man I loved alone. Putting six hours of driving back between us was not something I wanted. No matter where I was, I was missing someone I loved. I have to thank my boyfriend for being very strong, patient & supportive during this time. If this is a place to acknowledge my friends, he especially, must be given credit. All this time we talked about being together, me moving & then up and leaving AGAIN must have been very hurtful & frustrating. Not to mention my emotional idiocy at the time, made me irritable & most likely hard to be around. He also went through a series of jobs at this time, was often tired from work & yet still found time to support me emotionally. He took me out hiking & crystal hunting on his days off & went spent an amazing amount of time together, that part to me, was heaven, it kept me safe from my bad thoughts & having him near me everyday kept me sane & alive.

 After spending time in two jobs that I hated I asked another friend, our roommate to help me find & apply for something I liked. I literally went & walked into places & applied. Anywhere that interested me was visited & I soon had a stack of paper to fill out. Turns out, the first one I filled out was the one that was destined to be my new job! The Book Exchange called me only a few days after having applied there! I saw the stack of applicants & new I was lucky. I also found out later that my previous boss had been called & talked up my work ethic & usefulness as much as he could. After a one hour interview the following day, I was in! I now work full time, I make a decent wage (for Missoula area, we Washingtonians are spoiled when it comes to wages), & I live with m boyfriend & dog in the most beautiful state in the world. 

 What I learned from all this, was that things get better. Everyone has valleys, hard times, you can even get sad for a long time... but if you're lucky, if you have the love of good friends to rely on, you can climb your way out of your old skin & into a new better you. Everyone needs good friends to sharpen them, to pick them up & hold them tight. I thank mine, every chance I get because without them, I know now, I wouldn't be here! Thank you all, & I love you!

 As for the blog, hope to see you all much more regularly & with new & exciting adventures soon! happy trails! ~Anna 

Above is a digital piece I did of my new character Avis Wolf called, "Stronger"

Up on My Soapbox about Friendship

As a blog based in friendship, it is only natural that we talk about friendship every now and then. :)

I'm sure all of us know that friendship is great. It's beautiful, fun, engaging, and it's something that each of us needs in life. Where would we be without our friends?

If there is anything that I have learned through my life about friendship and relationships, it's that they all take time and energy and so much more from both sides. As they say, "Friendship is a two-way street." I have seen and continue to experience absolute true friendship. Anna is truly a best friend and I thank her for it constantly. I have a small handful of truly awe-inspiring and beautiful friends - they know who they are. But I've also learned that there are times when friends disagree, there are friendships that end, and there are friends that simply move on. C'est la vie.

However, it is our jobs as friends to put in the time and be there. This we all know. That's the easy part of friendship - hanging out and, well, being friends. The hard part comes along when time runs short, when friends move away, when life changes. These are the catalysts for the troubles of friendship.

And here comes the part of the job description of a friend that so many of us forget: 

Be understanding. 

So here I am, up on my soapbox - hoping that maybe a little reminding will help us all. The whole world needs to remember that we are all fighting different battles and that friends give us each strength.

If you want to the short version of the tome below, here it is: 

So for every human being out there: 

Please try to understand that we, as individuals, cannot be the centers of one another's universe, but we can be bright stars in one another's gorgeous night skies. Take pleasure in being a blessing counted with the stars and revel in every second you spend with your friends. Stop lamenting about time you don't get, quit complaining, and start rejoicing in the time you have; because believe me, there'll come a day when you too will have to say, "Sorry, not tonight," or "I'm sorry, I can't - rain-check?"

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The long version:

Sometimes, actually often times, when life decides to get busy, it does so in almost every aspect: from work, family, friends, and everyday life to new arrivals, emergencies, excitement, and change - it all tends to happen in clusters and all at once. These bouts can last for hours, days, weeks, and even months, leaving little "free" time and these moments happen to everyone.

As relatives, friends, loved ones, peers, and so much more to the people around us, it is each of our duties to understand that sometimes people are busy and sometimes this busy-ness lasts for longer than anyone wants. It is our job as friends to support our friends and loved ones and understand that they have other things going on, good or bad. Be there and lend strength - that is what true friends do. 

In my opinion, a grown adult that feels personally persecuted because the people in their lives have intervals when they have less time than usual for him/her is one or more of the following: 

• insecure about the relationships they hold
• lacking compassion and empathy for the struggles we all face from time to time
• lacking the amount of responsibilities/obligations that can cause moments and times like those
• and/or, simply, selfish.

There are a lot of things a functioning, active, and responsible adult has to do, such as (but not limited to):

• pursuing life goals
• sustaining an intimate relationship
• preserving friendships
• protecting family integrity
• fulfilling familial duties
• fulfilling fiscal and civil responsibilities
• attending to mundane, everyday tasks
• making time for oneself. 

As a working, young but active and responsible woman, I wholeheartedly believe that each and every one of those things is essential to a healthy and fulfilling life. But sometimes, some days, some weeks, it can be a lot to handle all at once. You can't tell me you haven't felt that way before.
During those times, something's got to give. 

So here's the new challenge - What is it that gives?

I hope that we can all agree, that there are some things that are simply not negotiable (and for some things, nor should they be or would we want them to be). This list of things is different for everyone, as priorities are different for different people. For me, personally, the list is: family, work, certain daily tasks (like taking a shower, eating, sleeping, tidying, and caring for my pets), and miscellaneous obligations of adult life (doctor's appointments, car maintenance, home maintenance, helping the household make ends meet, etc.). 

So eliminating these non-negotiable items, we're left with: the pursuit of personal life goals, sustaining an intimate relationship, preserving friendships, and personal time. 

From my personal perspective, the first thing that always gives in every situation is personal time (for better or for worse). Any of my closest friends can attest to this. 

So next, it's: pursuit of personal life goals. 

At this point in my life, this is a priority. I am a new college graduate entering my career field. Pursuing my career goals is something that will not give, not now, anyway. I will put in the time to apply to jobs, update and adjust my resume, write cover letters, attend interviews, study for the Fundamentals of Engineering exam (so I can pursue becoming a professional engineer), and anything else that might help. Later on in my life, as I mature into the career field and settle down to start a family, this will become less of a priority but right now, it takes up a lot of my limited "free" time (I work 44 hours one week and 36 hours the next as my work schedule and it does limit my time, contrary to some belief). 

That leaves: Intimate relationship versus friendships - the age-old dual. 

How long have men whined about missing bro-time because their man has got a new girl? 

How long have women complained about missing their gal-pal because of the new beau in her life? 

I'd first like to remind all of us that anyone who finds themselves in a meaningful relationship does, out of the nature of time itself, have less free time to spare for some things that it may have been used for in the past. It's a balancing act. 

It is important to remember that couples need time to themselves to grow and sustain a lasting relationship.

I personally am happy for my friends and kind of like it when they take time for themselves - even if it means fewer visits with them. I will gladly sacrifice some of my friend-time to see my friends find love.
But I realize that this is not how everyone feels - I believe there is an innate fear that once our friends find love, they're never gonna look back. But that's not how it is, a true friend will rejoice with you and share their happiness with you. They will look back - they'll remember that you were there when they needed you and they'll know you'll still be there to celebrate in their love.

But for many, there is still room to complain. I mean, some people truly don't look back, some relationships aren't completely balanced - in fact, I'm sure many aren't; and this is where that fear comes from.
Ideally, there should come a point (after some adjusting and transition time) where a balance is found in which everyone is satisfied and happy. This state should be balanced more often than not and only come off-kilter when changes happen (which, unfortunately can seem fairly often).

I strive for this balance. Having been in a relationship (I've been in 3 relationships total) for almost the entire time since I was 15 (I am now 22) and having each of those three last at least one year and six months with my current one at 3+ years (indicating that none were "flings"), I can confidently say that I am good at balancing my relationships and my friendships. 

But, alas, there are a few who disagree.

Now, I take this kind of thing seriously and to heart. It pains me to think that any of my friends may feel that I am deliberately not making time for them, especially when I try and the effort is not recognized.
It truly pains me.

However, I do take solace in the fact that the majority of my friends do not feel this way, only a few.
So, I mustn't be the terrible friend those few claim.

And truly, I believe that I make the same amount of time for all of my friends - with the small exception of best friends. But the issue lies in the fact that some friends need more time than others, I can't divvy up my friend-time evenly and make everyone happy...

Having said that, I believe that I am making a strong effort to balance my life and, though I will try my best to improve these relations, I understand that it might turn out to simply not be enough.

In the end, I stand by this statement:

A true friend is understanding. 

This is the whole reason a person becomes friends with another in the first place: because they understand each other (at least to some degree). If a friend cannot or refuses to understand, even with your best efforts, then perhaps they are not as close or as good a friend as they could be.

In my life there are a lot of forces that don't understand, that show little ability to picture life in my shoes... I depend on my friends to be the understanding ones. And I try my damnedest to understand each of them and to see life from their perspective - I am their friend after all, it's my job. My closest friends are my closest friends because they understand and not only that, they love me no matter what. 

I mean who doesn't love those friends that they can go forever without seeing or talking to and when you meet up again, finally, nothing has changed? Who doesn't love that? That, to me, is a great friend. 

THAT is true friendship. And I offer it to each and every one of my friends, each of them get it from me. I am always saying, "Oh no, next week works too!" or "Just let me know when you're free." But, as they say, "Friendship is a two-way street," sometimes I need some understanding too. We all need understanding from our friends. That's what friends are for. 

So for every human being out there: 

Please try to understand that we, as individuals, cannot be the centers of one another's universe, but we can be bright stars in one another's gorgeous night skies. Take pleasure in being a blessing counted with the stars and revel in every second you spend with your friends. Stop lamenting about time you don't get, quit complaining, and start rejoicing in the time you have; because believe me, there'll come a day when you'll need some understanding too.

- Jenny -

College Lessons

As I have closed the chapter of my life titled “College,” I have looked back on my four years and smiled. I have learned so much – much more than just what I paid to be taught. College is a time of independence, self-discovery/solidification, and adventure. In this post, I’m going to share some of the things that I learned in my college career but first, I need to lay out a few details: (1) I went to a “party” state school, (2) I chose a difficult curriculum and a medium level of extracurricular activity, (3) I was not a part of the greek system in any way, and (4) I don’t do drugs (never have, never will). That being said – these are a few of the lessons I learned outside the classroom and the lab. The first few are reality-check-type lessons and the last two are life-is-beautiful-type lessons. Enjoy!

·        This ain’t high school

And it’s fabulous that it isn’t. In my experience, friendships and relationships are much simpler and much easier in college. I think it’s mostly because we’ve grown up, we’ve moved on, and we’ve “been there, done that” with the drama. And for those poor souls that don’t learn this lesson early on, they’ll find that many people simply let them go and move on to “chiller” friends who have learned it.

·         The best fun is not the college party.

This is a lesson that I had already kind of expected to be true before I got to college but after going to parties and having their “fun,” I found that it is much too overrated. Too many a college student can’t hold his/her liquor or dignity. I honestly don’t relate to this, “I don’t remember it, so it must have been a hell of a fun night,” mentality. Logically, it doesn’t make sense. But don’t get me wrong, I’m of age and I enjoy alcohol, really I do. Ha! But, I don’t enjoy the college culture that involves it – it’s immature.

The best fun is simple fun. The kinds of activities that bring you back to the things that really matter, the things that you neglect most of the time. Things like your friends (and their glorious, sober personalities that made them your friends), childhood innocence, delicious food, relaxing, and hobbies. The best memories I made in college were going to concerts, having movie nights and marathons, playing video games, and cooking and eating great food with great friends. This is the true fun – not that drunken daze b.s.

·         Some people are ready for independence and some are not.

I saw this everywhere throughout my college career – not just freshman year, though frosh was probably the worst for most people. I was ready for independence. Freshman year, I had high grades, had a job on campus, balanced my checkbook like a good girl, went to all my classes, had my brand of fun, and kept my life, studies, and room in order (organization and cleanliness). But there were examples of people who were not ready: girls who drink too much and get hurt or taken advantage of, people who eat unhealthily just because they can or because that’s “what college students do,” people who skip their classes all the time, and people that don’t know how to even do their own laundry. Even as college wore on evidence of those needing a little more guidance was everywhere – dishwashers are apparently very difficult to run and load properly. :P

Now on to Life is Beautiful :)

·         Get involved!

Even a big school has unity and getting involved is the best way to tap into it. Go to the sports events, attend the free social events put on by the school, join a club, do intramural sports, go to the gym, partake in fitness classes, go for the free food and free t-shirts, learn your school fight song (and love it!), wear your school colors with pride, get to know the people you see in class often, participate in community events put on by the city/town in which your school is located, donate your time, donate blood – Get involved!

WSU is bigger than any school that I have gone to, though it is small for a state university. But no matter how big or small you see WSU, it is undeniable that the school spirit is strong – it’s verging on cultism, if you ask me! :D But I went to football games (Apple Cup!), basketball games, concerts on campus, bbqs, and more! I know my fight song like the back of my hand. I was part of a club for ChemEs and also a part of the multicultural students group for a while. I went to the gym often (though not as often the last year…). I knew my class well, did intramural sports, worked on campus for a dining hall, donated blood, attend the annual Lentil Festival in Pullman and so much more. Doing these things connected me to my school, my community. I urge everyone to get involved. It’s a beautiful way to have fun, stay active, and give back.

·         It’s all about the journey.

I’ve grown a lot since I was a wide-eyed freshman – I have solidified the person that I developed in high school into a stronger, more confident version of myself. Though I have changed a lot, I am still very much the same person that left my high school four years ago. It’s been a beautiful journey through college and it’s important to remember throughout the adventure that is higher education that it’s all about the journey. In the grand scheme of things, one bad grade is just a blip on the radar. Bad weeks, bad semesters, hard classes, difficult projects, late nights, and the multitude of challenges that students face are finite – they will end and give way to better, brighter, and happier days – especially when you persevere and succeed. Take the ups with the downs because without the rain, we’d not appreciate the sun.

Enjoy the ride and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Remember to have fun.

Life truly is beautiful.

- Jenny -

I didn't make this - don't remember the name of the person who did (found it on Facebook during Apple Cup week). If anyone knows, let me know so I can give him/her credit! Thanks! :)